


Moonlight's Memento

by lilmaeval



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Choking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Ran Nagisa/Tomoe Hiyori/Sazanami Jun/Saegusa Ibara, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26206867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilmaeval/pseuds/lilmaeval
Summary: Waking from a nightmare is not a new experience for Nagisa. However, tonight the dream is elusive to his memory. Despite that, he feels compelled to head to a certain familiar sanctuary and finds he is not alone in this sentiment.
Relationships: Ran Nagisa/Tomoe Hiyori, hiyonagi, nagihiyo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Moonlight's Memento

Nagisa awoke with a start and arched his back as he gasped for air. A silent cry escaped him for a brief moment and then, within seconds, the memory of his blank nightmare that pulled him out of his rest evaporated, leaving him in a cold sweat in the stagnant early morning air. Adjusting to the switch from sleep to alert, the sound of quiet snores from his roommates reminded him of where he was. Time, what was it? On the one hand, time was a concept that confused Nagisa on principal, as he had lived outside of it for most of his life. On the other, he knew it was not something he could idly ignore, as it had as much meaning as breathing to humans. Turning his head to where his roommate Kaoru kept an alarm clock, Nagisa struggled to interpret the cherry red lines written on the electronic device. Once the clock turned over to the next hour, however, the gears in Nagisa’s mind kicked on and he could plainly tell what it said.

Two AM. The mood suddenly became nostalgic, and Nagisa sat up in his bed. He was dressed in the blue pajamas Ibara had gotten for him as a moving-in present, evidently as a way to set a certain image for the idols of the Starmony dorms. Pointless, as no one would see them but the idols who lived there. Perhaps it was his way of trying to regulate those who used social media within the premises, but that seemed like an even more useless reason, as those who cared about such things usually presented themselves how they liked more than based on what anyone else thought, much less an agency. Pointless, but distinctly Ibara in nature to deny giving a gift for any sentimental reason. Difficult to understand as Father was to know.

Nagisa stood up from his bed and grabbed his jacket from the coatrack. Ensuring his ID was on him as well, he opened the door to his dorm and stepped outside. The walk to his destination wasn’t long, and after a while he found himself standing out in one of the many garden parks that littered the grounds of Ensemble Square. Greenery planted to beautify the river island and make it seem as though the idol management services that had grown around it were doing good for the world, and perhaps they were helping to oxygenize the city air. Nonetheless, it remained as manufactured as the idols themselves, nurtured and matured until they were ready to face the public, one by one.

Even so, this garden in particular was reminiscent of somewhere he once knew. Sitting himself on the swinging bench that overlooked a small pond in the center, the full moon reflected upon its surface and illuminated the life slumbering in its watery chasm. A song came to mind, and thus Nagisa sang. There were no particular lyrics and no melody in mind, but the harmony was nice and pleasant. All it needed was the right accompaniment and it could become something more, but for now it was just a song in Nagisa’s mind that he sang on his lonesome.

That was, until suddenly, a voice reached out and filled in the air with the missing melody that Nagisa himself could not create. Soon, the two were harmonizing until they became one, and Nagisa didn’t even need to open his eyes to see who it was sitting next to him on the bench. He slid his hand over and felt a warm palm encompass the back of his fingers, squeezing them tightly in turn. Nagisa and the familiar figure beside him looked up to watch the moon in the sky, alone with hardly a star at its side as the city lights drowned their shine from view.

“So Nagisa-kun was startled from his sleep as well?” Hiyori’s gentle lilt broke the quiet atmosphere that had settled between them the moment their shared song ended, leaving the two comfortably alone in the world as they once imagined they were. “It’s safe to assume you had the same dream as me then, right? What horrible weather, it’s one thing for me to imagine such nasty things, but I want Nagisa-kun’s head free of such worries!”

“...It’s alright, Hiyori-kun,” Nagisa reassured, slowly inching himself closer to the other and resting their heads together. “...I’ve forgotten it entirely.”

“Ah,” Hiyori’s voice broke for but a moment before his sunshine returned in full force, wrapping his arms around Nagisa’s shoulders thanks to their current closeness. “Then that’s just fine~ You’re free from your woes, and you can get back to bed. Ah, but that means you’re here in the first place because the vision we shared woke you up, right? How vexing that it made you come all the way out here!”

“...You were planning to come here on your own, weren’t you?” Nagisa turned his gaze towards Hiyori, but found his violet eyes still fixed on the celestial body above.

“Mm, yes,” Hiyori answered with a shrug, “after all, I’m sure you can see what’s so familiar about this place. It’s exactly like my family’s gardens~ That venomous snake truly is the worst, staking out my parents’ home to try and recreate what an influential house can do in a pathetic attempt to uplift his pet project. It makes me truly sick, don’t you agree?”

“...Mm, it feels very homely~” Nagisa replied, an answer which finally forced Hiyori to look at him directly. After sharing a look with each other, the frown that had formed on Hiyori’s lips curled into a sweeter smile than he’d been wearing earlier.

“How dare you look so cute while recalling the past like that,” Hiyori sighed as he brushed the back of his knuckles across Nagisa’s cheek. The fingers themselves were warm in comparison to Nagisa’s own cold cheek. “We used to sing and dance under moonlight just like this, didn’t we?”

“...We still can.”

Placing his hands on Hiyori’s hips, he stood up with the other from the bench and once on their feet, they began to sway together in each other’s arms. Hiyori let out an airy giggle, pressing himself further into Nagisa as he always did, and Nagisa in turn accepted his embrace in full. Their noses brushed together, and eventually their foreheads connected.

“How is it that you’ve changed so much and yet so little at the same time?” Hiyori idly mused in a murmur, eyes half-lidded as they stared at the space between them. “You were once a boy my size who would sneak off out of our bed in the middle of the night just to sing and dance beneath the moon. Now you’re bigger than me, even if by a fraction, and though you’ll still come out to meet me underneath that same moonlight, it is entirely for my sake and not your own. Hm~ I tried so hard to make sure you lived your life for your own too, so I’m so conflicted about these turns of events!”

“...You’re smiling,” Nagisa noted, “the kind you do from within...It’s fine to admit you enjoy me relying upon you, Hiyori-kun.”

“Ahaha!” Hiyori knocked his head back as he giggled, swinging the two a little harder to the left until they were in a full spin. “Nagisa-kun pays no mind to how much he strokes my ego, doesn’t he? Fine, fine~ I’ll admit it’s nice to head to a comforting place after a bad dream and find my beloved is already there singing a song to soothe me.”

After a few more rotations, the two settled themselves side by side on the soft green grass below. Hiyori rested his head on Nagisa’s shoulder, and their hands remained clasped between them tight as they’d been holding each other earlier. Nagisa’s eyes returned to the starless sky above, and the quiet chirps of cicadas filled the night with music.

“...What did you dream about?” Nagisa finally asked after a while, perturbed by Hiyori’s own silence on the matter.

“Oh,” Hiyori shook his head and nuzzled it further into the shoulder he rested upon, “nothing too scary. It was just an old memory.”

“...From when we were children?”

“Mm, that’s right,” Hiyori tugged on Nagisa’s sleeve and in turn Nagisa let go of their linked hands and wrapped his arm around Hiyori’s waist. “You were so cute back then. You’re beautiful as ever now, but you used to cling to me and stare at me with those pretty red eyes of yours like I was the only person in the whole world. You changed my life for the better, all because you wouldn’t leave my side and gave me the attention I always needed.”

A pause prompted Nagisa to turn his head down towards Hiyori, catching a rare sight. The smile that had been plastered on his face earlier had collapsed into a unique expression. Melancholy in nature, and yet the upturn of his lips was undeniable. Hiyori raised both of his hands and wrapped them loosely around his own throat. Nagisa’s breath hitched, and the faint glimmer of a memory passed through his mind, though it was too foggy to make out the details. Even so, this felt all too familiar to be coincidence.

“So you don’t remember,” Hiyori remarked upon Nagisa’s reaction, “that’s fine. Your memory is full of so many holes already, but I’m actually glad you don’t remember that. It wasn’t necessarily painful so much more that it was too vivid for me to forget. Your eyes were especially bright that night.”

Hiyori returned the look Nagisa was giving him, as if asking if he really wanted to hear the rest. Nagisa nodded in turn, to which Hiyori returned a close of his eyelids and the tightening of the fingers around his neck.

“It was exactly like tonight,” Hiyori murmured, “you crept out of our bed and snuck out into the gardens. I dressed myself and chased after you when I realized your warmth was gone, and found you singing and dancing with the moon and stars as your spotlight. I filled in the melody, and we continued the act together. Our song ended and just as I was about to ask if you wanted to go back inside, I felt you grab my neck and force me to the ground. It was sudden, and before I knew it I could hardly breathe. The amber eyes which I knew to shine so brilliantly were a deeper shade of red than I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t tell if they wanted me to suffer or to simply die.”

Nagisa brought his free hand to his own neck, feeling the way his windpipe constricted in empathy with Hiyori’s own. He shuddered and dropped it after a moment, staring at his twitching fingers as he attempted to recall the memory in question. No matter what he tried, however, nothing came to mind, not even the image of Hiyori pressed beneath him in such a fashion.

“You still can’t recall,” Hiyori noted, “as expected. Again, I wouldn’t want you to. It was an intense moment that shouldn’t stain what rose-colored memories you do have of our time together, and I don’t want you to have an ugly image of me resting inside your head. Nevertheless, I’ll continue the story from there. It’s not all that bad, I promise. After all, I’m still alive and with you all the same. Don’t think too hard about it, okay, Nagisa-kun? This story has a happy ending.”

Nagisa stayed silent in response, waiting for Hiyori to continue on his own terms. Hiyori took the hand that had previously been placed against Nagisa’s neck and held it tightly in both of his own. Hiyori’s palms were so warm that they felt like fire to Nagisa’s ice-cold shivering fingers.

“You stopped just before I started to really get dizzy,” Hiyori went on, “you let go and collapsed on top of me, and in that stilted stutter you used to speak in, you began to say strange things to me. Quotes, maybe, something you read that day that particularly stuck with you and made you recontextualize your life. I’m not too sure, I never found out. I recall you speaking about how pointless it was to keep living when God had already abandoned us. It terrified me more to hear you say that than the pain you had inflicted upon me earlier. I thought I’d been the one to lead you to that conclusion, after all.”

“..................Why?”

“Your first book you grew attached to was the Christian Bible. You particularly seemed to resonate with the idea that the Godfather created you, just as God created Adam and then Eve. You would even ask me which rib of yours was taken in order to create me. Silly, but I thought it was harmless at the time. To know you took it so seriously that you believed you’d done something wrong in leaving your captivity, I...I almost wondered if you’d have been made happy if you at least took back the life you thought I took from you.”

“...Hiyori-kun—”

“Hush. It’ll be alright, that was really the worst of it, I promise. You body was cold, just how you are now, and so I held you until my warmth stopped your quivering. Our hearts met each other’s tempo, and eventually we were both able to sit up on the ground together. I took your hands and clasped them in my own and asked you to not give up on life. I reminded you that, so long as we had our promise of sharing our futures together as idols, we’d find the happiness and love that you sought after. That seemed to be enough to convince you to listen to me, because you finally were able to smile.”

“...Hiyori-kun...”

“I told you it would be happy, didn’t I? After that, we went to bed, and we kissed until you fell asleep. Ah, remembering all that was worth it just for that memory~ Your sleeping face is the same today as it was back then, but I have to admit the chubby cheeks you used to sport were especially endearing. They were always a slight reddish tint as well, and I think that’s what they call ‘apple cheeks,’ ahaha!”

“...Hiyori-kun, I’m sorry.”

Hiyori stopped laughing entirely and turned his head towards the floor, eyes out of sight from Nagisa’s perspective. In response, Nagisa began to rub the back of his knuckles along Hiyori’s spine, feeling as shivers reacted and reached his touch.

“...I’m sorry I can’t remember,” Nagisa continued, leaning in and rubbing his forehead against Hiyori’s temple. “I know what you’re saying is true, because our hearts are connected and the truth lives inside our bond...I also know you won’t tell me with words how you truly feel...Regardless, that same connection of our souls allows me access to what you won’t say.”

“Oh?” Hiyori returned, a playfulness in his voice that didn’t reach his face. “Go on then, you really know me that well, Nagisa-kun? Show me how human you’ve become.”

“...You thought of me as a monster.”

Hiyori turned his head away entirely, then turned back, baring a far more serious expression, one Nagisa only rarely had directed towards him.

“Is that the conclusion you came to?” Hiyori huffed, though Nagisa spied the way the man’s amethyst eyes shimmered. “Honestly, Nagisa-kun, how could you think that of me? I love you, through and through, I’d never think so little of you or reduce all my opinions of you to a single breakdown.” The man’s gaze lowered, his furrowed brow relaxing. “I knew plenty well what you’d been through back then. I wouldn’t have a thought like that. You were the first person who truly paid attention to me. You meant everything to me, that one event couldn’t have changed anything about how I felt for you, and it didn’t.” Hiyori lifted his chin once more, attempting to smile but the corners of his lips remained turned south. “I...Of course I was scared. I won’t deny that. But to think of you as less than human when that’s all anyone ever did to you is...”

“...If the thought crossed your mind, there’s nothing to be ashamed of in that,” Nagisa reassured as he squeezed their held hands.

“You really have it all wrong,” Hiyori let out a half sigh as he closed his eyes finally. “You were dragged out here all because of a memory I didn’t want to recall came into my mind and reminded me of a moment where my love for you was put to a final test. You didn’t want to kill me. You wanted to die and you were asking me to join you because you didn’t want to be alone. My throat still burned with your anguish, and all I could think about was how painful it would be, but I trusted you all the same. Even if the thought terrified me to no end, who was I to be the taker of your happiness? Nagisa-kun, don’t you get it? I’m the monster. I’m the one who...I’m the one who kept you living, living long enough to be used by people who I told you could be trusted. I kept telling you things would be fine, even as you only continued to hurt. Nagisa-kun, I—“

Nagisa pressed a finger to Hiyori’s lips, then proceeded to brush away the stray tear that had fallen onto his cheek. He cupped the other’s face in his hand and pressed a kiss to Hiyori’s forehead. Hiyori, in turn, collapsed into Nagisa’s arms as far as he could, and though he shed no further tears, his teeth were gritted as he kept his head low.

“...Hiyori-kun has a terrible habit of seeing me as blameless,” Nagisa commented, Hiyori’s shivering body halting for just a moment before resuming. “...Mm, I think I’m right about that...Hiyori-kun would never let me take the blame for anything...He would always make himself a shield to protect me from any and all dangers or troubles that we came across...But when it comes to the times that I’ve hurt you, you will see it all as your own fault...It’s not fair to you...I do not wish to see Hiyori-kun gasping for air and doing nothing to stop the hands upon his neck all because they belong to me...If I remain the source of your misery, then I must do everything to amend that.”

Hiyori remained still in Nagisa’s grasp, still refusing to meet eyes. Nagisa rubbed a hand down Hiyori’s shoulder and arm, pondering how to approach the subject next. When he was ready, he lifted Hiyori’s jaw with a finger, finally catching a glimpse of watery amethyst eyes.

“...Neither of us are monsters,” Nagisa spoke softly, “nor are we perfect idyllic beings, no matter how much we each crave that end...I have come to accept that being human means I will make mistakes, and often times those will be ones I’ve made in the past...Hiyori-kun, I need you to help me correct those recurring problems...In turn, I must do what I can to recognize when I’ve hurt you, and see if you are shouldering the weight of our struggles upon yourself...If we can save each other from those sins, then surely, we’ll obtain a more sublime understanding of each other, and in turn a happier future...Hiyori-kun, please promise me this...I don’t wish to hurt you anymore, and I don’t wish for you to fear me.”

Hiyori was silent a little longer, even more of a rarity for Nagisa to experience. Eventually, the green haired man rested his head on Nagisa’s shoulder, the tears that had spilled out drying already as he let out a beleaguered sigh.

“Nagisa-kun,” Hiyori muttered, “if speaking to my heart was your intention, I can’t say you’ve failed exactly, but...Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. What you say sounds nice enough, and I understand why you’ve come to that conclusion. I...I promise, I will try to change. You’re right, it’s dehumanizing to treat you as a doll who can make no mistake, isn’t that right?”

“...Fufu, Hiyori-kun is so defensive,” Nagisa returned, “it’s been awhile since we’ve communicated with our words like this...Isn’t that rather strange of us?...I find my biggest mistake in treating you is relying upon our connection, though I suppose Hiyori-kun hardly likes being honest with me as well.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Hiyori pressed the back of his hand to Nagisa’s chest with quite a lot of force. “Honestly, you can be worse than Jun-kun sometimes, speaking of me as though I don’t do my absolute best to make you happy.”

“...That’s precisely what I meant, Hiyori-kun...Even Ibara will be harsh with me if I’ve done something inexcusable..”

As if they’d summoned the spoken names, two voices called out distantly in the darkness, footsteps gathering closer.

“Ohii-saaan~ Where the hell did you go?”

“Your excellency? Your highness Hiyori? Please, answer if you can hear us!”

The two on the ground shared a look before getting to their feet. Above the hedges, they could see their beloved juniors walking around, concern written clear on their faces and Ibara leading the way with his tablet in hand. A toy mouse landed at Nagisa’s feet, and the searchers circled around to find Nagisa and Hiyori sitting politely on the swinging bench with their hands clasped and looking expectantly at the younger two.

“Jun-kun~” Hiyori greeted with a giggle. “How lovely it is to have you join us! Oh, I guess Ibara is with you too.”

“Ohii-san,” Jun glared at the called man before raising a brow at the man next to him, “and Nagi-senpai too. Goddamn, what the hell is going on? Why are you just like, out here in the middle of the night?”

“My question precisely,” Ibara groaned as he retrieved his mouse, pocketing it and leaning into Nagisa’s face. “Your excellency, you know how important it is to get a full night’s rest. We have a very early morning practice tomorrow, and we’ve all been woken because of you and your highness’s whims. Won’t you care to explain why, at the very least?”

“...I’m sorry, Ibara,” Nagisa answered with a smile, reaching up and petting the other’s soft red head. A blush was brought out in turn, and Nagisa managed to catch Ibara around his waist before he could pull away entirely. “...Hiyori-kun and I shared a memory together tonight...We each had the desire to talk about it, so we met each other here.”

“Uh,” Jun scratched the back of his head and walked a little closer, cautious to stay at least out of Hiyori’s range lest he turn out like his ensnared companion, “okay, how? Did you guys text to meet up or something?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Jun-kun,” Hiyori chuckled, “are you envious? We’re two souls in one, but Nagisa-kun and I are eternally bound. If that upsets you, perhaps you ought to come and claim my body for your own~”

“C’mon, I’m not jealous,” Jun pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked over and finally sat next to Hiyori, who giddily pulled him into a side hug. “I was worried. I woke up and you weren’t in bed, so I got Ibara and he figured out Nagisenpai was missing too. Seriously, how troublesome can you two be? At least like text us before you go and telepathically sleepwalk away.”

“...We weren’t sleepwalking though,” Nagisa corrected as he pulled Ibara down onto the bench beside him. “...We were drawn to this place because it’s familiar.”

“Oh?” Ibara feigned ignorance as he adjusted his glasses, facing away from the group and looking directly at the pond ahead. “Why is that?”

“As if you don’t already know, viper,” Hiyori scoffed, “I bet you keep satellites over my family’s home at all time. How obsessed with me are you?”

“Huh, yeah wait,” Jun scanned the area, “I mean, I’ve only seen it a few times during the day, but this does seem eerily similar to Ohii-san’s backyard.”

“It’s an exact replica!” Hiyori amended. “Although, not entirely. It doesn’t have the prestige of my family’s estate, so that makes it a rather poor imitation in any case.”

“An imitation,” Ibara grinned, “and yet both your highness and his excellency were drawn to here as a place to reminisce, were you not?”

“...Taking the bus to Hiyori-kun’s home would be impossible at this hour,” Nagisa answered. “...We only had this place as an option...Still, the moon shines brightly no matter where we are, does it not?”

“Yeah...Nagisenpai’s right, that is a pretty beautiful moon among the trees.”

“Hmph, I suppose even the viper can’t ruin something like that. Well, I can admit, it does feel like home, so I’ll praise you for that.”

“I’m honored, your highness, now when will we go back to bed, your excellency?”

“...In a moment, Ibara...I want to spend this moment with all of you...You all matter to me so much...Let’s form new memories that can vanquish the darkness in our past, but let us not forget the wounds we once bore...Instead, I want to share those burdens with you all, and for you to entrust the same with us...Surely then, we’ll reach a more sublime stage, don’t you agree?”

Silent nods greeted Nagisa’s earnest request, and the four leaned back onto the swinging chair. They admired the full moon for a little while longer, its glow illuminating upon the surface of the pond below. A leaf fell down onto the body of water, and the ripples spread the image apart in tandem with their departure from the garden.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I know the upper management at CosPro is who determined the image of Eden but shhhh I'm hcing that they did that only because of Nagisa and Hiyori already kinning Adam and Eve, it's fine, it's fine.
> 
> Anyway twt is @nagisenpai hope you all enjoyed the food lol


End file.
